44. Silly Season Again

PHOTOS: The Happy Family; Kas out walking with Chloe; Kas and my sister Tash setting up the Xmas Tree; Tash; Wee Chloe; Kas and Chloe; Chloe playing; Squirrel's in the Backyard; The Anthony Nolan Ball; Peter mocking Neil and Ali & Caroline...

I'm loving this new family life. I'd be lying if I said it didn't take a while to get used to... I used to be a real advocate for 8 hours of snoozing per night and my whole spur-of-the-moment attitude (Kas called it impulsive) has even had to take a backseat. Chloe has really guided most attention away from CML and our time is now spent looking after the wee one and getting on with life - no time to sit back and wallow in self-pity, never really been my style...

As usual there's been quite a lot to deal with over the past month, nothing strange there...I love this festive period where everyone tries to cram so much into the final months of the year. Silly season has arrived! My work in the booze industry is at an extreme high and I'm enjoying being so busy. The next few weeks will leave very little time for anything else so I better make the most of it. I have, however, made some time to keep spreading the word for Leukaemia Research and the Anthony Nolan Trust - as promised, I managed to squeeze my big head in front of the BBC News camera and do an interview for the recent Anthony Nolan Ball. A famous artist, Peter Housen, has donated one of his John Lennon paintings to the charity and it was my job to describe what the £20,000, that was raised in an auction, would mean to people in need of a bone marrow transplant. I'll upload the video clip as soon as the BBC send it to me.

The Ball was a great success - after all costs and expenses, they raised well over £100 grand! We all had a great night, easily the best Ball I've ever been to. 10 of us went last and this year there were 30! A man who had donated bone marrow to a 4 year old American girl was interviewed by the Speaker...they then played a video clip of the girl, who was now 10 years old, and she described how much the transplant meant to her and her family and how she owes everything to him for his generosity. There wasn't a dry eye in the place when the Speaker announced that they had flown the young girl into Scotland to meet her donor - she walked on stage and gave him a huge hug. After that pertinent reminder, it was then time to get on the booze and get the party started. Apologies to the Thistle hotel for smoking up their dancefloor two years in a row...

The following weekend was time for the Annual CML Conference and this year it was held in Edinburgh. There were over 400 attendees on the day and my daunting task was kick off proceedings with my patient presentation. Luckily I had met with the other speakers the night before, all leading CML Consultants from around the world, and had been given a few insider tips for my talk. The presentation went down quite and the patients, carers and doctors all seemed quite happy - I even got asked by one of the leading Consultants if I would join them full-time to speak at conferences. Food for thought. Anyway, the day was as I'd imagined a Bio-chemistry uni lecture to be...very technical and extremely scientific. There are plenty of things to look forward to for newly diagnosed patients - the talks were about vaccines, new therapies, new transplant styles and new tests. A very informative day and I was glad that Chloe could have been of assistance during my presentation...a little reminder to anyone with CML hoping to have a family.

Kas continues to shine at being a mum and seems to have everything under control. She's beginning to meet up with other mums from our area and making the most of the coffee and lunch outings. It's great to hear that wee Chloe is making a few friends...even though she's not really conscious of her own actions it's funny to hear all the babies hanging out together. My sister arrived a few weeks ago and has been employed as our nanny...an unpaid nanny. It's great having her around and it's great to see her with her niece. She will be starting work tonight at the same place I worked when I lived here 6 years ago. Any touch of Australian Chloe can have is a very good thing! On Boxing Day my folks will also arrive and they'll have their chance to have a well earned cuddle...with Chloe, not me.

Well my latest PCR test was taken 2 weeks ago and the results should be back with me in the next week or two...I'm trying not to get my hopes up this time and getting myself ready to hear the same result again. It's definitely not a pessimistic attitude...more like a realistic one. I really need to be prepared as I will be happy if it stays the same and not going up. Fingers crossed for the coming weeks...

On other news I'll say good luck to my grandpa in Sydney who's just been diagnosed with bowel cancer. They've also found tumours in his liver but after tests, it seemed they may be benign. He's going in for surgery in the next week so please keep him in your thoughts. My thoughts are also with my dad who is driving back and forth to Sydney to look after him.

So until I post my BBC news report and PCR result, keep the emails and messages coming in - also check out my mate Dave's blog who is currently going through a BMT....

http://cml.davidrobertcox.com/

43. Two Years On

PHOTOS: Chloe; Karen who visited from Canda, Kas, Julie, Nina and Chloe; Auntie Tash and Chloe; In the Bouncer; Kas, Papa Tom and Chloe; An Old Photo of Me, Jacko and Chopper...gold!

I don't think anyone would be surprised to hear that the past month has been particularly busy. Chloe has just passed five weeks old and that's just about how long it's been since anyone has had a real snooze. She's growing very fast which is great to see - she's loves her grub just like her old man, already growing out of most her clothes and also loves socialising. I'm loving being a dad! Kas is doing a great job of looking after the wee one, as are her folks Anne and Tom - with the booze industry at it's peak time, they've done an unreal job of helping out Kas whilst I've been away making sure there's plenty of alcohol available across Scotland. A brave job!

We slowly seem to be getting things under control. The 2 year diagnosis date just cruised on past on the 19th Octover - such a weird feeling all day. Not sure whether to celebrate or commiserate! It took Kas a little longer to deal with my latest PCR result as she was also getting used to looking after a baby...I had slightly more time to try and get my head around it and work out what this means to us. The timing wasn't the best. Chloe is always top of mind but there has definetly been a distinct CML cloud hanging over me - I guess it just makes you think more about your future and really makes you metaphorically grit your teeth to get through the next lot of bumps and dips (I say metaphorically gritting my teeth and not literally - I wouldn't have any teeth left with what we've gone through over the past 2 years!) With the impending Doctor visit at the end of the month and also the Bone Marrow biospy, mutations test and PCR, I'm lucky I've had my girls to keep me focused and my mind on the job at hand - positive thinking. I've always known there are other drug options to keep me ticking over...a higher dose or another med on the market. At 140mg Sprycel per day, it doesn't go any further than this...

Next weekend it's time to don the Sinclair Kilt once again and get ready to tear up another dancefloor - the Anthony Nolan Trust's Annual Scottish Ball is on! We had an amazing time last year at The Thistle Hotel with games, auctions and dancing to keep you entertained. There were 10 of us last year, this year there's 30. We may take over next year? Kindly, my work Pernod Ricard have agreed to support and put on the Drinks Reception - unfortunately, it coincides with the Scotland vs Italy soccer match, a must win game for the Scots! Hopefully we'll have a few takers on the free drinks? I've also been asked to support the big day by doing some interviews on BBC Radio and maybe also on the BBC News. I'll tape it put it on my blog for those who are unlucky enough to miss my smooth baratone voice cascading through the British airwaves...everyone will be talking about the Aussie yobbo instead! In any case, it's a great opportunity to get more support for a good cause.

The week after the Ball is the Annual CML Conference and this year it's to be held in the Bonnie capital, Edinburgh. For those people attending, I apologise as I'll be one of the first to kick off procedings and do my talk. I better get to work on it! I know the UK Consultants will be attending a Conference in sunny Australia next year -I'd better do a good job and throw a few hints at being included on the world tour...

It's was so good to see my wee sister Tash and Justin who visited us last weekend - all the way from Oz! I was so looking forward to seeing her hold Chloe and get her first cuddle as a Scottish auntie. They'll be back up for Christmas and that is also when my parents will arrive in town - it'll be my first Christmas with my family in a few years. Can't wait!! Just a shame my brother and his family couldn't make it. Maybe one year they can swap their hot day with a BBQ lunch for a White Scottish one?

So for now, I'd better get back to my work and keep the Scots well lubricated with our finest booze. Thanks again for the emails and comments - especially regarding my beautiful wee girl! My appointment with the docs in on the 20th November, fingers crossed...

* Glasgow just won the right to host the 2014 Commonwealth Games...GOLD!!

Please check out my mate David CML website. He was diagnosed shortly after me and unfortunately the drugs haven't gone too well for him - Dave will undergo his Bone Marrow Transplant in the coming weeks. If you get a spare minute, wish him all the best...

http://cml.davidrobertcox.com/

42. It's a Girl!!

PHOTOS: Chloe Anna Sinclair's first snooze, Skin to Skin to Kas; Matt (Dad) and Chloe; Leaving the Hospital; Struggling with the Car Seat; Kas (Mum) and Chloe at Home; Kas with Chloe in Pram; Kilted Boys; Jason and Jen's Wedding...

Whoever said "once you have a baby, you don't have time for anything else" wasn't kidding! What an eventful few weeks that have just passed - finally I can now proudly announce the arrival of our wee gorgeous daughter, Chloe Anna Sinclair. I've still got a smile from ear to ear as I type this! She came into the world last Tuesday at 5:10pm (the exact same time I was born) and weighing in at a hefty 7 pounds 1 ounce. It'd been a pretty long labour for Kas, one that started on Sunday night when her waters broke...incidentally one day after my duty as Best Man had passed. Very good timing if I do say so myself. Kas did very well and somehow managed to pass the time for over 40 hours, spending most of that time confined to the small walls of her hospital maternity room. Eventually after some slight persuasion from the docs, she made her entry and it wasn't too long until she was putting her lungs into good use and letting out her first cry - such an amazing experience (even though I never ventured to the "business" end") and one that made me the proudest dad in Scotland. Luckily she takes after her mum with the good looks, even though she's got about as much hair as her old man...

After a few eventful days at the Queen Mothers in Glasgow, we were finally allowed to take our wee bundle home. I must have driven like a little old lady that afternoon as I manoeuvered the car back to our house, managing to avoid every pot hole and dip so as I never woke Chloe up. So far she's been a very good baby and not done too much else besides eating, sleeping, damaging her nappies and getting spoiled by everyone - not a bad life. We even managed to take our first family trip yesterday when registered her birth...I was in stitches laughing when I realised how badly I had dressed her (pink, blue, white and yellow were all thrown in the mix). Anyway, the wee lass has arrived and we're even wondering now what we did with our time. Let the good times roll!

As I'd mentioned, my duties as Best Man for Jason and Jen's wedding were slightly strained as we hoped the baby would arrive late and allow me to attend the big day. Even though Kas was due that same day, it was unreal that her brother Gav brought her up to the amazing venue and witness what was to be a very special day. Jas managed to survive the Bucks Event from the weekend before and was now ready to marry his girl, Jennifer. We all met up near stunning Dollar in Scotland. All the boys, including Jason's old man Allan, Drew and Darren all the way from Australia, donned the tartan skirt and prepared to get Jason to the beautiful Solsgirth House (castle!) on time. Jen looked absolutely stunning as she walked down the aisle - I'm a sucker for weddings! After the ceremony, photos on the spectactular grounds (trying not to run out of superlatives), champagne, speeches and a very good feast and wine, it was then time for me to do my stuff and tear up my next dancefloor. Once again I burned the leather sole off my shoes! The night was so good and everyone had a ball...I was very lucky and happy that I was there to be at my best mates side as he married his lovely lady friend and also catch up with all the Aussie crew that ventured over to the sunny Scotland. Let's hope their marriage will be young enough to survive the times, yet old fashioned enough to last forever - I'm sure it will.

On the flip side to the happy news of babies and weddings, it was during the Monday as Kas was dealing with yet another contraction that I knew I was due to receive my latest PCR results - this was the one that would determine so much including prognosis and future management. As I'd received my previous two results that has gone from 1.5%, down to 1.2%, we were all quite positive that the next one would follow the trend. When I did leave Kas for one minute to quickly peruse my Inbox, the email I read from my Doctor probably wasn't the one I should have read to keep me in high spirits... 1.7%. I was stunned. My first thoughts were always with Kas and the baby, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. Why did it go up? What does this mean? I can't tell Karen! Leaving Karen that night at 11pm was the hardest drive of my life. Not being sure how long I will being seeing my wife and daughter poses some pretty tough questions to answer on your own...

I somehow snuck out of visiting times to pick up my new increased dosage of Sprycel medication - I would now be taking 140mg once per day instead of 50mg twice per day. I then caught up with Professor Hollyoake on Tuesday to discuss what this latest result means and what we should do. Luckily she is the best doc in the world and managed to get opinions from other leading CML Specialists around the UK on what they feel should be my next step. They did vary, as we expected, but it was felt that I will commence this increased dose, do a repeat PCR test at the end of November and then redo a Bone Marrow sample and Mutations Test to clearly see what is going on inside my body. They also feel that 1.5%, 1.2% and 1.7% are actually the same result and they would only feel a better result would be if it dropped down to 0.15% - if only! The reasons behind this goal of 0.15% would mean a much better long term prognosis and potential of just continuing the tackle CML with medication. However, the final alternative would be the risky Bone Marrow Transplant route but this will take some thinking about as I now have a gorgeous wee girl on the scene. Once given any news from the docs, it always takes Kas and I a few days to digest what is going on and then get on with it. We've never been ones to really dwell. However, as I've only shared this latest info with Kas yesterday, it's only now I feel I can begin to understand and cope with the current situation. I can't imagine what things would be like without her.

Thankfully they've also given me 6 weeks between hospital visits as my blood results continue to be optimal. If only we could have this brilliant result on my Stem Cells!

So until my next visit, I will continue to keep positive, work out my role as being a dad, change nappies and help out where I can. Well done to those who voted for "GIRL" on my poll. Keep the messages and emails rolling in...the Sinclair Clan has arrived!

41. Eagerly Anticipated

Photos (Dawsie's Bucks Weekend) : Malcolm, Dawsie (Borat) and Me; Drew; Me and Dawsie; Passed Out with the Horses; A few of The Boys dressed as 70's Pimps...

Still no news as yet...

I didn't realise how tiring it can be when you're anxiously waiting on something you find important! Kas is doing really well, still keeping active, no yelling at me (just yet...) and generally keeping positive about everything. There is only the odd occasion that I see it all building up inside her and she releases very calmly and gets back to the job at hand. That's my girl!

The official due date is this Friday and they say it can happen anytime now. Hard to believe that my next blog post will be of the new arrival. I'm hoping that I don't become the baby bore, so I'll stop with the baby chat now...at least until it arrives anyway...

I've also got the eagerly anticipated PCR test due this week as well. It's all happening. As you can imagine, my fingers are still crossed in the hope I can continue the downward trend and have a result that drops below the 1% mark for the first time ever. This next blog post will be a busy one indeed!

Then if that wasn't enough on my plate, I've just come back from my mate Dawsies' Bucks Weekend to the Lake District in sunny England. Such a good time had by all the 20 blokes who all dressed up at "70's Pimps"! After confirming with the House we were staying at that their definitely is mobile phone coverage, we set off from the bonny lands and off to England to live the weekend that I organised months before. When I arrived, I was very thankful to see that I did indeed have the promised mobile coverage - I was on call for baby duty! As most people are aware, 'what goes on tour, stays on tour' is the Bucks Weekend motto so I won't be sharing any stories....only that Dawsie was fast asleep by midnight and we literally had horses from the surrounded paddocks munching bread from his Borat swimsuit that he was only permitted to wear...

The big day is this weekend - Jason (Dawsie) and Jen's wedding at Solsgirth House, Scotland. It's a beautiful, old, family owned place and somewhere I cannot wait to visit tomorrow night when I head up there for the rehearsal. Again, I am on call for baby duty if the wee one hasn't arrived by then. Hopefully I will at least be able to get through my speech and give the oldies in the room a few horror stories from when he was a young fella growing up with me. Kas is hoping to get up to the House to at least see the ceremony - she hates missing out on anything!

It's just been great to be able to see my good mates Drew & Alana while they're over here for the wedding - nothing like catching up with your old friends! It's been good to see them again and getting on with things as though we only saw them yesterday. My other mate Damo from Australia is also over here as well...to get a piece of Oz when you're living in another country is priceless and something I definetly don't take for granted. I've always been one to make the most out of every day and every situation. Let's just hope the Wallabies keep up their good form in the Rugby World Cup!

The next update won't be far away - what goes on between now and then will be some of the biggest weeks of my life! To be kept update on this blog without having to keep check up from time to time, just add your email address on the right of the screen in the 'Email Subsriptions' section. Easy...very nice!

Thanks again for all the emails of support and best wishes - to see visitors from all around the world checking out this blog is gold. G'day to those checking out my site from Australia, USA (incl Alaska), UK, Ireland, Taiwan, France, Spain, Saudi Arabia, Greece, Czech Republic, Bosnia, Chile, Canada, New Zealand, Malaysia, The Netherlands, Indonesia, Italy, Switzerland, Portugal, China, Brazil, Turkey, Germany, Israel, Egypt, Austria, Singapore, Tunisia, Hungary, Belgium, Korea, Finland, South Africa, Japan, Kuwait, India, Denmark, Bulgaria, Serbia & Montenegro, Guatemala, Hong Kong, Pakistan, Jordan and the Faukland Islands...

40. Three Log Reduction

Photos: Kas nearly due; Start of the climb up Ben Ime; Up the Steep Part Through the Fog; Huddled at 3,100 feet; Back down the sun comes out; Gav soaked; Waterfall after the Rain; Back at the Bus...

It took a few encouraging words from the doctor for me to realise that I had a good result in my hands. In my head, I had somehow convinced myself that if I felt good it would mean my PCR had dropped down quite low and that I had erased even more CML cells from my system. I’m obviously aiming for total eradication. After ten full months of a consistent 2.5% result, worries from the docs and a few fears of my own thrown in, it is great to see it now heading in the right direction…

My first PCR after starting Dasatinib in June this year was officially recorded at 1.6%. The latest one received from my consultant last week was 1.2%...six weeks after the 1.6% came through. It shows a few things, positive and negative, depends on how you look at it – I’m heading in the right direction but quite slowly and the other is that it has more than halved since being stuck at 2.5%. If it continues to drop slowly over the next few months, then I may finally achieve an acceptable and very stable result. I guess there is so much emphasis placed on these tests because of the Drug Company’s 5 and 6 year long term survival data. They say that if you can achieve a 3 Log reduction (100% at diagnosis to 10% = 1 Log Reduction; 100% to 1% = 2 Log Reduction; 100% to 0.1% = 3 Log Reduction) you will have a much higher rate of survival than those who fail to achieve this goal. It’s sad to think that even 5 years ago, most patients would only have 4 or 5 years to live if they never had a fully matched bone marrow transplant. CML has certainly come a hell of a long way since those days of harsh treatment and chemo – the majority of CMLers can now lead a relatively normal life. I say ‘normal’ but who really knows what this means?

So the goal is to obviously reach the goal of a 3 Log Reduction. I’m trying to think of a relevant metaphor to place more emphasis on it but I think you get the picture on the importance for me…

Now back to the ‘normal’ life chat. It’s great to see that Gav has continued to inspire the team and send us up more mountains to conquer. The latest one had me acting surprisingly negative! We decided to take on Ben Ime in the Scottish West Highlands last weekend, a day that started out pretty wet, too wet for an Aussie I thought! As we neared the Munroe, the rain had increased in intensity and completely blocked our view of the surrounding Loch Lomond and scenery. It wasn’t much better when we arrived there either…it took us at least an hour just to make it up a few hundred metres, over a fast-flowing river and a few pit-stops to sort out our saturated gear. I was ready to throw in the towel then but thought I was just being a precious Aussie, afraid of the wet weather. After a few hours of trudging through the water-logged ground and up a pretty steep rocky and slippery embankment, it was then that the dense fog decided to join in the fun. Finally we reached the peak where we huddled in tight, munched our soggy sandwiches and took the picture of us looking thoroughly pissed off. Then it was the descent. The dense fog had by then become so thick I could hardly see my feet, the wind had also picked up so much I thought I was walking in the eye of a tornado and then I saw something that defies all laws of physics – hail stones were blowing up the side of the hill! Thinking of the BBC news reporter that morning talking about teenagers that were lost in the Cairngorms, I turned back to be met by a huge blanket of whiteness and not a person in sight. My thoughts then turned to calling a rescue chopper to get us off the mountain. Eventually we all met up again, yelled a few random words of abuse at the hill and then slipped and fell our way back down to the mid-point of the Munroe, where we then saw the fog and mist being completely blown away. The views were pretty spectacular but I was far more focused on getting my cold arse back into a heated car and back home for a hot shower. We all made it back thank god, peeled off our drenched walking clothes and headed home for Glasgow – it was only when we arrived home that the sun decided to show its face…

Everything else seemed to be cruising just fine. Kas has commenced maternity leave now and is trying to get in a few weeks of rest before we endure the sleepless nights that everyone insists on telling me about. Actually, that’s pretty much all I’ve heard about – getting through the babies first 6 weeks of life. It does sound pretty tough I’ll have to admit but I really can’t wait now. Feels like Kas has been pregnant for years! I’ve also heard about this ‘nesting’ thing that women go through – I’m sure Kas has been like that since I met her (5 years ago on the due date incidentally enough).

Gav’s wife Natalie also organised the Royal Bank of Scotland’s Ball that was held on the weekend – I was so stoked to hear that she was doing it all for the Anthony Nolan Trust. Unfortunately we couldn’t make as Kas wasn’t too keen on bopping the night away with big pregnant belly. From what I hear, the Ball went extremely well and they even managed to raise over £5,500 for the charity. Unreal!! The official Anthony Nolan Trust Scottish Daisy Ball in Glasgow is almost on too – we attended the Ball last year and it was so good! This year my work, Pernod Ricard, are backing to the Drinks reception and chipping in some booze for the event. It’s great to see so many people backing the enormously worthy charity!

So I’ll be back to see my Consultant at the Beatson Oncology Centre again next Tuesday – this is the 3 month PCR test since commencing my new drug Dasatinib. The big one (I know I keep saying they’re big!). This one really needs to be under the 1% mark! Fingers crossed anyway….

*Sad news today in the UK is that Jane Tomlinson has died. She’s the woman who was diagnosed with Breast Cancer seven years and since then, raised £1.75 million for Cancer Research including Marathons, Iron Man Triathlon UK and even the huge 4,200 mile ‘Cycle Across America’ campaign…

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_yorkshire/6976050.stm

39. Ben Lomond

Photos: The Boys at the bottom of Ben Lomond; View over Loch Lomond; Getting higher; Getting Steeper; Reaching the Top; Quick bite to eat at the Top; Gav enduring the wind; Back Down for a Pint and Curry; Dawsie after he fell asleep at the recent Annual Golf Day...

Waiting seems to be the main thing to ever happen lately. I’ve always made the most out of using waiting time wisely, just get on with normal life and playing the hand I’m dealt. It’s hard to stop being dominated by the next bit of news or something you’re looking forward to – what’s that saying again, life is a journey not a destination? While I really have been making the most of my time, there are still plenty of things to keep me focused and aware of what lies around the corner…

The latest blood tests continue to see improvements from the dodgy ones I received in hospital a couple of months ago. On paper, my blood results look healthier and more normal than Kas, who is just short of 8 months pregnant. Besides my pale Scottish-looking skin and my ever-thinning hairline (my head must be too big for my hair), I don’t think much would give away the fact I’ve got CML. The only thing that will tell me for definite how I’m really going is my latest PCR test, taken last Tuesday. This is the big one – 6 weeks on Dasatinib (Sprycel). As I touch wood, I can say that I do feel so much better and that I am expecting a better result that last. That may be the kiss of death but one must remain confident. In a fortnight’s time, only the result will tell me for sure.

And if there’s news of me getting a sub-standard PCR test, the docs have just told me of a life-line in the form of another potential bone marrow donor. They’ve done the investigation (thanks to all of those who joined the register) and the computers have searched the world wide databases – of the 8 million listed, there seems to be one other person with a 10/10 match to me. Another Matt Sinclair somewhere on this planet…what a blessing, there’s a very lucky lady out there! The docs haven’t said much yet about this donor but I’m sure they’ll have more information for me in two weeks time

Thanks for the well wishes regarding Karen’s Papa Andy who passed away last month – the family are doing really well but obviously still missing him. I was impressed with my brother-in-law Gav’s (sounds too formal – he’s just my cheeky mate) attitude after the sad news settled with him. He rounded the boys up and inspired them to stay out of the pub for the weekend and to climb up one of Scotland’s highest hills – Ben Lomond. Unreal! The mountain that stands proudly over Loch Lomond and looming at well over 3,000 feet was to be the destination for the boys. If the drive up the east of the Loch wasn’t stunning enough, the walk that met us was phenomenal. Most of the Mountain Guides recommend a 5-6 hour round trip, so with that in mind we set off cautiously through the winding tracks and gained altitude at a very rapid pace. Within twenty minutes, we were all working up a healthy sweat and starting to reach a height that could deliver some decent photo potential. We pushed on through the gusty winds and managed to stay on the designated pathway towards the summit (funny, it sounds as though I’m climbing Everest)…anyway, regardless of the mountain height difference, it was a gutsy effort to the top where we met by some views that could only be described as extraordinary! It really annoys me when people say “words just can’t describe it”…the Oxford Dictionary contains over 170,000 words, I’m sure a there are a few words they can use. Enough of my gripe…the scenery that is visible from Ben Lomond is so good and well worth the effort to the top. I may have to write a strongly worded letter to all these Mountain Guides, as we all managed to conquer this peak in four hours exactly – not bad for a bunch of us pint swigging amateurs. Bring on Ben Ime in the southern Scottish highlands next weekend!

As the Scottish summer (don’t think we had one, I think it’s a myth) comes to an end and the Edinburgh Festival draws towards it’s final day, it’s a stern reminder that next month we’re due to have our first child. I really can’t wait! I’m also realising how precious this last month of pregnancy is to Kas after she had a few scares in the past week – I will certainly be breathing a huge sigh of relief when she finishes up with her work and commences her maternity leave.

Then it’ll be the arrival day – this will mean a completely new way of existence and living. Maybe I’ll have to slow down a bit and stop roaming the Scottish highlands…well at least until our kid can fit into some walking boots and join me. I’m really keen to see Kas as a mum as well. With the creation of our very own family just around the corner, it’s more inspiration than anything else to keep positive and continue working hard to beat CML. We’ll pretty much be non-existent socially as we will be looking after a baby for the first couple of months, we’ve then got Dawsie and Jen’s wedding (and Buck’s weekend), CML Conference I’ll be speaking at in November, my sister arriving in the UK and then it’s off to the Anthony Nolan Trust Ball the weekend after. Bring it on!

I’ll also add the part about our Annual Golf Event that was held last weekend in Edinburgh – twenty blokes, a new location every year, one charity shop green jacket awaiting the winner, one pink cardigan awaiting the loser and a second round of golf filled with so much booze, it’s amazing anyone was standing after the day. Actually, not too many were. A great day enjoyed by all, even though it felt like we were playing somewhere near Artic Circle, and even better to know that I evaded the pink cardigan once again after a Tiger like round from myself (Tiger when he was four). Already looking forward to next year…

Until the big PCR and Donor results that I’ll be receiving in a fortnight, keep the emails and messages coming in.

38. Sun Dance

Photos: Newly pregnant Lorna with Colin and myself; My mate Ish with the world's largest coffee; Karen and her Papa Andy; Karen's mum Anne and Andy...

What a month. As usual, we’ve had to keep on our toes and ready to take on the next challenge that’s thrown at us. Most months we’ve dealt with things quite well, taken it on the chin and got on with it as soon as possible. I’ve never been one to dwell on things too long. But this one seems to have been more emotional than others.

It’s easy for people to feel their own problems to be more important than the next – that’s just human nature. It’s so easy to get caught up with what’s in front of you and you could be forgiven for losing sight of what others have to contend with. I know I’ve been guilty over the past couple of years of this…it’s only occasionally I have to be reeled in and be reminded that there are others in a much more precious and worse off situation. It’s also fact that everyone doesn’t deal with similar situations in the same way. For a few good reasons, this month has been a bit of a learning curve and an eye opener…

I’ll start off with the news of my latest PCR. I never expected anything from my test – the blood was drawn only after I’d had 2 weeks on my new meds (Sprycel) and a week off as I was in hospital. If anything, I was expecting a steep rise that we would have to catch up with. But, surprisingly, the news was pretty easy on the ear. After being “stuck” at around 2.5% for 10 months, it was great to hear that this PCR test came back at 1.5%. I knew the meds were 400 times stronger than Gleevec but I still didn’t expect a change! And it wasn’t me thinking in pessimistic ways, hoping for a good result so as I don’t get disappointed…I genuinely thought we’d have a battle on our hands. I was, however, sternly warned by my Consultant not to get carried away with this result and for me to continue to keep my eye on the ball. She wants to see a bigger result than this (obviously)…so we need the 3 month PCR test to be back at 0.9% or lower. The levels are heading in the right direction, which is great but I also need to keep willing it even further down.

As my last post mentioned, the docs will be conducting another search for a suitable bone marrow donor in case I don’t fair too well on the new meds. Since then, I received a great email from a guy in the Orkney Islands who had organised for the Anthony Nolan Trust to come up to them and host a Donor Clinic. They would have been happy with 20 people…but they managed to get well over 100! Such a great result for a small community. I’m in awe of work like this – as I said before, it’s very easy for other’s to get caught up in their own issues and feelings. This guy did this event off his own back – at least now I’ll have another 100 potential donors for my search. I’m stoked at some of the things people have done my cause since diagnosed in 2005…(even my father-in-law who went to collect a pizza yesterday, ended up giving blood at the local “Blood Bus” while he was out).

I’d hate to be left without a donor, not do well on my new meds and miss out on any precious time with my wife and my wee one due in September. A thought I push to the back of my mind quite well but still a thought that can surface occasionally. With work like this, hopefully I can lose this thought all together…

On top of all this, Karen’s Papa Andy unfortunately passed away last week. Such a great man – with a big friendly smile, a glass of whiskey in his hand and a lot of love to give for a “hard” man, there wasn’t too many people that he didn’t get on well with. Only two months before, he was the “go-to man” burning up the dance floor at his grandson Gav’s wedding, more than me (only just!)…and it was very sad to see that his time was up. I’ll always remember Andy for a Scottish accent thicker than any I’ve ever come across and the way he sang “Waltzing Matilda” at any family event to prevent me from home sickness. So heartbreaking to see him miss the birth of his first great-grandchild by only a couple of months – I think that is what has hit Kas pretty hard. She had a lot of love and respect for him. What a legend…he will be sorely missed by the many people who attended his funeral yesterday…

So, as you can see, it’s been month to keep us on our toes. I’ve also managed to keep myself busy with my work, getting my fitness back and doing the Scottish sun dance. After playing tennis a week ago, I know I’ve got a bit of work to do to get anywhere near where I was before Pneumonia (fitness that is…not waiting for the clouds to part). My fortnightly appointment has also thankfully been moved to every 3 weeks. I’ll be back to see the docs on August 7th for my very important 3 month PCR test – the big one! Hopefully by then, they’ll also have some news on the worldwide donor search. I may even get matched up with an Orkney Islander now…

Thanks again for the messages and all the emails! Well done to my good mate Ouso too, who completed the London Bikathon for Leukaemia Research last week. Good effort mate! Happy Birthday also to my sister Tash...27 last week, she's catching up! Happy birthday wee sis.

* Never too late to be a Bone Marrow Donor – they’re all desperate for young fit blokes (sounds like a few girls I know…) Check out the links on the right of the page!